Floating 101

It's been HOT here in South Texas, topping 100 degrees more than once this past week. And I've been going from air conditioned home office to air conditioned car (when absolutely forced, because of no food in the refrigerator ) to air conditioned Baskin Robbins (did I say that?) (hubby drags me, I swear) to . . . our backyard pool. The pool being, IMO, a far better treat than even Jamoca Almond Fudge, Mango Tango, Love Struck Cheesecake or Temptation Island. Because I LOVE floating in pools. Not swimming. Not diving. Not playing water polo or doing water aerobics. Just . . . FLOATING. Mindless, staring-up-at-the-clouds floating. And, because I don't want to work at it: on an inflatable raft. I have one of those rafts that has a teeny pillow and is made of mesh, so that I'm sort of semi-submerged when I float . . . just enough to keep me blissfullly cool. It's heavenly.

I've been a floating afficiando for quite awhile now, my need to float born some thirteen years ago. When I was was going through a tough personal time and floating became an affordable escape. My backyard pool, warm sun, solitude, gentle sounds of nature, fuschia-pink plastic raft . . . just what this heartbroken nurse ordered. And I learned stuff, too:

1) Books get really FAT when you Float and Read. ***

2) It is possible to fall asleep in the middle of a swimming pool. And sunburn your knee-pits.

3) Coconut sunscreen is like Baskin Robbins to several varieties of wasps.

4) Radio stations play way too many sad love songs. It's a conspiracy.

5) Labrador Retrievers are called "retrievers" for a good reason. Don't splash in a pool unless you need to be rescued. There's no extra room on a pink raft for a loyal, hundred pound Lab.

6) Hope . . . does indeed float.

Nowadays--in Texas and far happier times--I'm still floating. And still learning:

1) Floating is a perfect time to work out snarls in manuscript plots.

2) Someone really needs to invent a waterproof paperback . . . does the Kindle e-reader float?

3) It is possible to fall THROUGH a web raft. If it's left in the sun too long. Hubby will laugh.

4) Armadillos can drown. Scorpions can hold their breath.

5) Coconut sunscreen is Baskin Robbins to hummingbirds. Which sound like Star Wars light sabers when they buzz your head.

6) Counted blessings . . . will float gratefully Heavenward from a raft in the middle of the swimming pool.

Now . . . if I could just find a waffle cone that doesn't go all mooshy in the water. Stay cool everyone!

*** Oh, forgot: Back in those California days, my fellow ER nurses decided to lift my spirits by hosting a girls' Float and Read party. It was great fun. Except everyone forgot their books. And everyone remembered to bring munchies . . . LOTS of calorie-laden munchies.

It became an annual hospital event--aptly re-named, The Float and Bloat.